Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize