Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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