oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
