no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
