hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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