Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
