i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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