: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
