i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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