hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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