Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
