This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
