Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Are we still banned from the library?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
