I just made out with a guy for $7.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
