ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
the raccoons are back...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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