Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
