You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
