i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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