Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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