k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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