Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
