i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
