Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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