Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
