: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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