I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
