Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
