didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
