Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
