You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
