I faked an abortion last night.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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