Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
