I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize