I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
