it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
