last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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