Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
