I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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