Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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