You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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