By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
