respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
