hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
