Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have feelings that need drinking.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
