Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
