i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I am naked and annoyed.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
