Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
