And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize