i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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