just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
