And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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