Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
