I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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