No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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