i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
