i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
