She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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