anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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