Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
