Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
