so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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