I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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