I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
